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The towel came off her and she lied naked on her back, exposing every aspect of her well crafted body adorned by unshaven pubes. I sat erect and then stood up, speechless and quite late to notice the heat flowing in my body and how hard I was down there that it formed a bulge on my pants.She hurried and picked herself up and covered herself in a towel with a tone of embarrassment she spoke, “Go use the toilet. And I asked you to go sit outside. What were you doing here?”Without saying a word, I ran into the toilet. I was shaking inside. Even the pee didn’t fall in a single place.Finally I recollected myself and stepped out of the door only to find out that she was in her bed. She asked me to sit beside her. She looked at me and asked, “Never saw a naked woman before?”“No…I mean Yes. But no…not in real life.”“Porn?”“Yes. And , magazines at times”.There was a tone of uneasiness in her voice and I stammered when I spoke. She continued,”Ever been with a woman?”“No”.“Seriously?”“Yeah”.“Why. It could happen to anyone, you were bound to lose sometime, better now than at the championships.The thing is, I knew I blew it. And I knew why.The human mind is a miraculous thing. It can conceive things never imagined before and make them real. It can rationalize frailty so that the biggest screwup in the world can convince himself he's something special. And it can take a little data and twist it around and reach a conclusion. Not necessarily a good conclusion, a correct conclusion, but an accepted conclusion, nonetheless.What "facts" did my mind have to work with? First, Jill thought she was on some kind of probation until such time that I decided we knew each other well enough and I liked her enough to stick with her. Second, she was worried she had some competition from a girl I'd known for years, who lived near me, was in most of the same classes I was and I realized I wanted to know better. Third, Jill had not answered her phone or returned messages, last night and this.
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